I’ve debated with myself many, many times about whether I wanted to write about this topic on the blog. Does it have a whole lot to do with bras? No. But it is an important women’s issue that I think gets overlooked often. And I am quite passionate about bringing light to this epidemic and sharing information with others so that they understand it better.
1 in 6 couples needs assistance conceiving. You are not considered “infertile” until you have been trying to conceive for more than a year.
My husband and I are no different. We started trying to conceive in September 2011. You’d think it would just be a matter of timing and putting the parts together, but no….for us, it has not been that easy. I had a miscarriage in April of last year (2012), but have not had any positive tests since then. Around the time my best friend told me that she was pregnant in November 2012 and I spiralled into a deep depression, my husband and I decided that we needed to see a specialist. In January of this year, we finally met with a specialist and so far we have only had diagnostics done. All of our results have come back normal, and we’re still waiting. I had a test done in late January that was supposed to enhance fertility for 3 cycles; well…no luck with that either.
It’s hard to describe to people how it all feels. You feel alone. Angry. Confused. Hurt. Heart broken. With every month that passes, I keep thinking “What am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me?”. And there’s no answer. You build up hope that this is going to be the month that you get pregnant – every single month – and every single month you have to go through the grieving process again. It’s the most heart wrenching, exhausting experience ever. I would never wish it upon anyone.
Even harder are the comments that you get from other people. “You just need to relax.” or “It’s not your time yet.” or “Maybe God has a different plan for you.” To that I say this: No. Your comments are insensitive, infuriating and upsetting. They belittle what we and many others who struggle with infertility are going through.
So… what I really wanted to do was share some great resources that I think every man and woman should read. If you’re struggling with infertility, these things will make you feel like “Someone finally gets it.” and if you have a friend that’s infertile, perhaps they will give you a perspective other than your own, and help you to figure out what to say and how to be supportive.
Resolve.org is a fantastic non-profit organization that seeks to get the word out there about infertility. If you are going through infertility issues, look no further. Resolve has a network of support groups across all states and there will be options for you. Just pick your state and see if there are any in your city. OR you can volunteer to host a peer-led support group 🙂
I know how hard it is to talk to family and friends…..to read about someone getting pregnant, going to a baby shower, or seeing a birth announcement (My best friend’s baby shower is the day after my birthday, and it breaks my heart just thinking about going…. I know. Worse yet will probably be the gift shopping)
Please share the above links with everyone you know…..and please check out Resolve’s website and find out what you can do to help.